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Coping with a divorce you did not want and tried to prevent.
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You are the Unknown Soldiers of the Culture Wars.
Like the soldier buried at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, no one knows your name. But at least everyone recognizes what the Unknown Soldier died for. Unlike the soldier buried at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, no one knows that you have died a thousand deaths, or what you died for. You are the Reluctantly Divorced.
You are among the large and invisible group of Americans who were divorced against their will. You did not want to be divorced. You wanted to work on the marriage. But the unilateral divorce laws in this country allow one party to end a marriage, without cause or penalty, so you are divorced, like it or not. One person can end a marriage for any reason or no reason.
Some of these things may have happened to you:
- Your spouse left you for another person.
- Your spouse left you for no reason that makes any sense to you.
- You have been told to “get over it” or “suck it up” by people whom you thought ought to help you, such as relatives, counselors or even clergy.
- Your contact with your children is limited by court order or by the non-cooperation of the child’s other parent.
- Your children’s other parent shows little or no interest in your children. He or she is more interested in the children of their current relationship.
- You have faced costly legal battles to gain access to your children, or to protect your children.
- You feel you have been victimized by an anti-male bias in the family courts.
- You have had your wages garnished or your assets seized to pay for child support or spousal maintenance.
- You have been the victim of a paternity fraud.
- You have been stalked by your ex-spouse
What Dr. Morse can do for you:
- Her e-newsletter is filled with information and commentary on issues important to you.
- Free downloadable articles that explain aspects of your situation to other people. These articles are free and available for reprinting in local non-profit organizations such as support group newsletters or church bulletins.
- An opportunity to connect with other people in your situation. Visit the RD blog.
- Her booklet You Can Improve Your Marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t change a bit, can actually be used by some divorced people. You have no control over whether your former spouse changes. Because you still have contact with your child’s other parent, you want to make that relationship as good as it can possibly be, for your own sake the sake of your children. This booklet is filled with 101 tips on constructive ways of relating to him or her.
- Hher latest book, Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-up World has an entire chapter called, “People with Problems and Problem People.” You have more than your share of Problem People in your life. Dr. Morse can help you find a spiritually uplifting way of dealing with them. Smart Sex can help you make sense of some of the painful mistakes you may have made, and shows the path forward.
- Her first book, Love and Economics is an a lyrical affirmation of the indispensable role parents play in creating a sustainable, free and humane society. This can help you support your children, even if you don’t see them as often as you would like. (Are there a handful of pages or a chapter that I can direct them to?)
- Her seminars, workshops and talks have inspired many people just like you.
If you live in Southern California, she may be available to speak to your group, at no charge!
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